Problems not stopping? What has gone wrong? Why?
Do you want to save your marriage? Do it in just 40 days
If you accept this challenge, you should know that instead of following your heart, you decide to guide it. The world tells you to follow your heart, but if you don't guide it, someone or something will do it for you.
Remember, you have a responsibility to protect and guide your heart. Don't give up or be discouraged.
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The 40 points of the Love Challenge
DAY 1
Although love is communicated in different ways, our words often reflect the condition of our hearts. During the next day, decide to show patience and not say anything negative to your spouse.
DAY 2
Today, too, in addition to not saying anything negative to your spouse, make at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
DAY 3
It is difficult for you to care about something in which you do not invest time, energy and money. In addition to restraining yourself from negative comments, buy something for your spouse that communicates: "I was thinking about you today."
DAY 4
Get in touch with your spouse sometime during the day. Ask him how he is and if you can do something for him.
DAY 5
Ask your spouse to tell you three attitudes that make him uncomfortable or irritate about you. You must do so without attacking or justifying your behavior. Your perspective is the important one in this case.
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DAY 6
In the face of difficult circumstances in your marriage, decide to react with love instead of irritation. Make a list - by priorities - of the things you need to add to your agenda.
DAY 7
Find two sheets of paper. In the first write positive qualities of your spouse, in the second, the negative aspects. At some point during the day, choose a positive attribute from that list, and thank your spouse for that characteristic.
Put the two sheets in a secret place for another day. There are different purpose and plan for each one.
DAY 8
Because love is unselfish and puts others first, it leads you to celebrate your spouse's successes instead of feeling upset about him. Tell your spouse how glad you are about something they have accomplished recently.
Take the list of negative attributes you made yesterday and burn it discreetly.
DAY 9
Think of a special way to greet your spouse today to reflect your love for them. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.
DAY 10
Do something out of the ordinary for your spouse: Wash his car. Clean the kitchen. Buy her favorite dessert. Fold his washed clothes. Show her love for the sheer satisfaction of being her partner in marriage.
DAY 11
What need of your spouse could you satisfy today? Pick a gesture that says "I appreciate you" and do it with a smile.
DAY 12
Show love by making a good decision to compromise in an area of disagreement between you and your spouse.
DAY 13
Talk to your spouse about establishing healthy rules of the game during discussions.
DAY 14
Today's challenge can lead to a real and radical change in the way you think. Determinedly put aside an activity that you do in general so that you can spend quality time with your spouse.
DAY 15
Choose a way to show respect to your spouse that is different than usual. Maybe it's opening the door for your wife, or putting your husband's clothes away, or it's the way you listen and speak when you communicate. Show your spouse that you hold him in high regard.
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DAY 16
Begin to pray for the heart of your spouse and your marriage.
DAY 17
Today you can commit to reestablish the lost communication. Talk to your spouse, really listen to him when he tells you thoughts and personal struggles, make him feel safe.
DAY 18
You want to know your spouse more and better than you know her, transform her into your chosen field of study. You will be amazed at its beauty. Prepare a special dinner at home. Talk, meet. Decide to make it a nice night for both of you.
DAY 19
Look again at the challenges of the previous days, were there some that seemed impossible or that you did with reluctance? Have you become aware of the need for God to change your heart and give you the ability to love? How about you ask God to show you how your relationship with Him is and the strength and grace to resolve your eternal destiny?
DAY 20
Dare to trust Jesus Christ. Dare to pray: «Lord Jesus, I am a sinner; but you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have approved your power to save me from death through your resurrection. Change my heart and save me with your grace »
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DAY 21
Search to pray and read the Holy Scriptures. Immerse yourself in the love and promises that God has for you.
DAY 22
Love is a decision, not a feeling. It is an action that starts, not a reflex action. Today, choose to commit to love even if your spouse is hardly interested in receiving it anymore. Say to him today with words like these "I love you. I choose to love you even if you don't repay me »
DAY 23
Remove all the parasites that steal your feelings and take your heart away from your spouse: any addiction or influence that sticks to your heart and sucks the blood of your marriage: television, alcohol, toxic friends, routine, ... They consume your thoughts, robs your loyalty to those you love.
DAY 24
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Distinguish every lie you've swallowed in seeking forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back room. Kill and destroy it (today) and replace it with God's promises and a heart filled with his perfect love.
DAY 25
Today, forgive your spouse anything you have not forgiven. The lack of forgiveness has kept you imprisoned in pride for a long time. From the bottom of your heart and with sincerity, say: "I choose to forgive."
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DAY 26
Ask God for forgiveness for the things you've done wrong, and then humble yourself enough to confess them to your spouse. Do it sincerely. Even if he responds with criticism, accept it and take it as advice. Go confess.
DAY 27
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations from your home, and tell your spouse that you are sorry you made so much of it. Promise him that you will try to understand him and reaffirm your unconditional love.
DAY 28
What is the greatest need in your spouse's life right now? Can you help him even at the cost of a heroic sacrifice? It doesn't matter if the need is great or small, make it a point to do what you can to satisfy it.
DAY 29
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for him by mentioning his name and his needs. Regardless of whether it is easy for you or not, say "I love you" and then express love for your partner in some tangible way. Pray again and thank God for the privilege of loving this special person… unconditionally, as he loves us.
DAY 30
Ask the Lord to reveal to you any attitude in your heart that is threatening unity with your spouse and to do the same with him. Speak frankly with your spouse about this issue, seeking God to find unity.
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DAY 31
Is there still an area where you haven't been brave enough to tackle it? Confess it to your spouse today and decide to fix it. The unity of your marriage depends on it. Then commit to your spouse and God to make your marriage the priority over all other human relationships.
DAY 32
If possible, try to initiate sexual intercourse with your spouse today. Do it in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or hinted at) about what they need from you in the sexual area. Ask God that the two of you can enjoy it and that it becomes a path to greater intimacy.
DAY 33
Recognize that your spouse is essential to your success. Let him know today that you want to include him in your next decisions, and that you need his opinion and advice. If you have ignored their contributions in the past, admit your carelessness and ask them to forgive you.
DAY 34
Look for a specific and recent example of when your spouse has demonstrated Christian character in an obvious way. At some point in the day praise him for this.
DAY 35
Find a good counselor for your marriage. If you think therapy is necessary, take the first step and make an appointment. During this process ask God to give you discernment and direct your decisions.
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DAY 36
Make a commitment to read Holy Scripture every day. Get a meditation book or some other resource to guide you. Start building your life on rock.
DAY 37
Ask your spouse if you can start praying together. Use this time to confide in the Lord your concerns, disagreements, and needs. Don't forget to thank him for his provision and blessings. Even if your spouse refuses to do so, decide to spend this daily time in prayer alone. Think about what your spouse would like, if possible. Put him in prayer and begin to make a plan to fulfill some of his wishes (if not all) as far as you can.
DAY 39
Write a letter of commitment to your spouse. Include why you are committed to this marriage to the death, and express to him that you have made it a point to love him no matter what happens. Leave the letter in a place where your partner can find it.
DAY 40
Write a renewal of your vows and post it in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could plan a formal renewal of your wedding vows before a priest, with the family present. May it be a living affirmation of the love of marriage in the eyes of God and the high honor of being like salt and pepper: two different people making their lives together.
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